The Art of Low Demand Parenting: Christmas

Christmas is full of invisible pressure, and some of us are lucky enough to have children who notice. The strange thing really is how many of us don’t see it until our children point it out to us.

There’s the pressure to be Excited, starting in about Nov when adults ask ‘what are you getting for Christmas then?’ or even ‘Have you been good for Santa?’ (to which the right answer is a hard stare).

Then there’s the pressure of Waiting until the big day to open your gifts, even if you’d much rather have them straight away (and you don’t like big days anyway). Advent calendars are designed to rub this in, and to keep you in a frenzy of wanting to open door 24 even though it’s only Dec 2nd.

There’s the pressure to look Happy when you’re given something which you really didn’t want and didn’t ask for – but you need to ‘say thank you’ anyway (and definitely don’t tell them you want to take it back to the shop and have the money for Robux).

There’s the pressure of Joining In – everyone around the table for crackers and turkey, and no you’re not allowed to put your headphones on even if it’s too noisy. Walks in the morning or everyone watching a film together in the afternoon. Come on, just this once!

There’s the pressure of Tradition, when we do things because that’s what we’ve always done. Turkey, Christmas pudding, Christmas cake and trees, there’s really no good answer to ‘Why do we have to?’ except ‘This is what we always do’.

And when it’s all over we move onto the long and drawn out pressure of Thank you letters, that invisible obligation attached to every gift and which can cast a pall over life until at least New Year (and one memorable year in our house, until April).

Come and laugh at the art of low demand parenting at Christmas with Dr Naomi Fisher and Eliza Fricker.

Feedback from participants at our earlier webinars.

Such a humble, insightful and highly informative webinar. Dr Naomi Fisher and Eliza Fricker were the perfect duo of lived experience and academic knowledge. Lots to go away with to put into practice with those we work with, plus in our own home. Would highly recommend to anyone.

I am so grateful to you both for shining light onto what has been a very dark journey for me at times. Your webinars and books have been an invaluable source of guidance and understanding when mainstream approaches have only exacerbated an already impossible situation. Your teachings have strengthened my resolve, given me the courage of my convictions and made me feel vindicated after years of feeling unheard and isolated.

When you start to doubt what your gut instinct tells you or you’re screaming into the void of mainstream advice, along come you two with lived experience and knowledge to support, guide and chat your way through it.

Having attended webinars from a range of providers, yours are the ones I return to, quote and recommend to others. Whenever days get tough (and they must do) please don’t forget or underestimate how much you have helped us “untypical” families.

Dr Naomi Fisher is a clinical psychologist who specialises in autism, trauma and alternative education. She is the author of Changing Our Minds and A Different Way to Learn. She can be found here www.naomifisher.co.uk and on Facebook under Dr Naomi Fisher.

Eliza Fricker is a best selling author and illustrator of Can't Not Won't and The Family Experience of PDA. She can be found here www.missingthemark.blog and on Facebook under Missing the Mark.

Together Naomi and Eliza are authors of When The Naughty Step Makes Things Worse and The Teenager's Guide to Burnout.

This webinar is not therapy or a replacement for therapy.

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