A lot is justified in the name of exam results. It’s okay to control every moment of a child’s day, if the school can show they get excellent exam results. It’s okay to have behaviour policies which put many children in isolation, if the school gets excellent exam results. It’s okay for parents to be complaining, and children to be protesting, if the school can show improving exam results.
Many parents tell me about how difficult their children find it when they know there is something in the house for them - but they can’t have it until later. They pull the house apart looking, or search in the cupboards. They ask repetitively and can’t stop, and then everyone gets upset and frustrated.
The post which got this response wasn’t one which I had thought of as my most controversial. Here is what I said in its entirety.
Several parents have told me that they’ve seen a psychologist who has advised against removing their child from school, saying that this will only increase their anxiety. I’ve seen this advice in books for professionals – books on ‘school refusal’ will claim that allowing a child to stop attending school and seeking another way to learn will cause all sorts of anxiety issues to get worse.
When I was studying psychology at university, one of the hardest things to learn was that we are all biased. We all look for proof that our opinions are right, and dismiss evidence that we might be wrong. We read books which confirm our prior assumptions, and make fun of those which don’t.
When I talk about the effect on children of behavioural practices which are used in some schools, I’m often told that these are trivial.
Before I had my children, we stayed at a friend’s house. On her bookcase was a book titled Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby (or something similar).
Whenever I write about keeping children’s curiosity alive through more choices and more play, someone says something like ‘well I’m glad my doctor learnt how to follow instructions’. Or ‘Naomi would like to see a world where people choose how to drive and don’t bother about following the Highway Code’.